Balancing Truth and Kindness

We all remember the interactions we’ve had that were rich in kindness--compliments, encouragement, and praise. We can also remember conversations rich in truth—ideas for improvement, critique, and advice.  For most of us, our most cherished relationships were with the people both honest and kind. 

Child psychologists discuss three styles of parenting—authoritarian, permissive, and authoritative. Authoritarian parents may say things that are true, but fail to be kind. Authoritarian parents are known as condescending, argumentative, and abrasive. Permissive parents may be kind, but fail to have truth and wisdom. Permissive parents sometimes try so hard to be their children’s friends that they neglect boundaries and structure. Authoritative parents have a better blend of kindness and truth. They make sure that children understand the reason for the rules, and they want to keep their children safe and healthy.

In higher education, an authoritative approach is constructive as well. When we balance kindness and truth, we help students to feel respected. As we create a safe environment for students to do their best work, students can thrive at Nashville State Community College.

Responding to Criticism

“Correct a wise man and he will love you. Correct a foolish man and he will hate you.”  Most people want to be wise, but listening to constructive criticism can be hard. Part of learning about ourselves is about learning about not only our strengths, but also our weaknesses. Henri Nouwen said, “Maybe we remember the few occasions in our life in which we were able to show someone we love our real self: not only our great successes but also our weaknesses and pains, not only our good intentions but also our bitter motives, not only our radiant face but also our dark shadow. It takes a lot of courage, but it might just open a new horizon, a new way of living.” When we live in a sense of community, we reveal both strengths and weaknesses.  Our humanity will always include some shortcomings, but when we realize our weak areas, we can grow and learn. A teacher I had in high school once reminded the class that you learn more from the questions you miss on the test than the ones you get right. No one gets through the exam of life with a perfect score. We will all make mistakes, but hopefully as we acknowledge our mistakes, we can learn to have conversations that solve problems and promote harmony and peace.

Emotional Support at NSCC

We all know that life can be frightening and overwhelming. Tragically, many people feel so overwhelmed that they feel hopeless, like the character in the movie “13 Reasons Why.” You may be aware of this controversial movie in which a young girl takes her life, leaving behind audio tapes of why she made her decision. A local news station interviewed Frank Scott, Director of Lipscomb’s Counseling Center to get his perspective.

Dr. Scott mentioned, “[Teens] don't have the coping mechanisms yet, and that's what we learn growing up by the consequences of our actions. We see life and how to do it, how to do it well, what works, what doesn't work, they don't have that yet."

As we grow and mature, we learn to develop the coping mechanisms that Dr. Scott mentioned. I enjoy my work as a volunteer chaplain at a psychiatric hospital. In our groups, we talk about how a person is more complex than a machine. When a car breaks down, we take it to a mechanic to adjust the parts. A person having mental health challenges often needs not only medication, but counseling that nurtures the spirit. This looks different for different personalities, diagnoses, and worldviews, but everyone needs a sense of hope and peace.   

One resource is the Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK. (1-800-273-8255). This number can assist if a person is actively suicidal or if they are experiencing suicidal ideation (fantasies of suicide).

Another resource is the crisis hotline at 615-244-7444.  People can call this number when they are confused, anxious, depressed, or having any other emotional problems.

You may be familiar with the Behavior Intervention Team that we have here at NSCC—a collaborative effort among Access Center staff, the Dean for Student Services, Security, and instructors from a variety of disciplines (including psychology and occupational therapy.) If there are any students with emotional issues you are concerned about, we would love to help. Just e-mail Andrew Mason or Carol Martin-Osorio and we will meet to discuss intervention strategies and offer resources.  After the team meets, we have a conversation that is non-threatening and solution-focused with the student.

As our society becomes more complex and diverse, it’s crucial for people to realize they are not alone as they face their challenges. Giving a student a phone number to call or a referral to the Behavior Intervention Team can save a life. As a teacher once told me, “tattling is to get someone in trouble, telling is to keep someone safe.”  Working together to help students in distress will continue to make NSCC a safe haven to learn and grow.

A New Start

Whether a new student, a transferring student, or a returning student, all students feel a little worried and concerned about the first week in class. Did they get the right book? How difficult is this professor going to be? I need to do well in this class to get a better GPA, earn my degree/certificate, and/or transfer to another university.  For every student, higher education can bring a little anxiety and a lot of stress. For students with disabilities, it is heightened. Students with disabilities may be taking a class for the second or third time due to comprehension differences or inaccessibility. The student may feel uncomfortable due to communication difficulties, social anxieties or learning differences.

As we settle in for our first week of the semester, let’s keep in mind that our students come from different walks of life, and are all facing their own internal struggles to succeed academically, socially and emotionally. One feature of our Quality Enhancement Plan (QEP) is to help students successfully begin their academic journey, and stay on the mark towards graduation.

 

Thomas Friedman reminds us that great professors and parents make a huge difference in a student’s achievement. Through collaboration, the students benefit from our collective skills and intelligence. In the spirit of collaboration, the Access Center is here as a resource for professors, parents and students. Please feel free to contact us throughout the semester to set up an Access Meeting. In Access Meetings, students, instructors and Access Center staff meet together so the students may ask questions and the instructors may clarify expectations. By working together we can help students begin the semester with confidence!

   

 

Access to Success

         I was once a student who didn’t know about my learning and impaired vision disabilities. When my professors gave me reading assignments, it took me several hours to just read one chapter. I knew that due to my unique disabilities that I had to request accommodations to meet the deadlines of papers, tests and quizzes. I met with a professor one day who saw that I was tilting my head while I was reading, and holding the paper within six inches of my face.  This started my journey of getting tested for a visual disability. I found that my reading was as slow as a third grader, I have a mild form of dyslexia, and issues with grammar and spelling.

            I then found that I could get accommodations for my disabilities but I didn’t know where to start. I talked to disability services at my university. The staff provided direction to talk to my professors to let them know my situation, and the accommodations I had requested. What I had not requested accommodations for was my anxiety, so I wasn’t sure how to approach each of my professors. I wasn’t sure how they would respond, what they would say and if they would be understanding or not. I had never received accommodations before and I knew that I could use the extra help if I was going to succeed, and keep up with my classmates. Luckily all my professors were empathetic and accommodating.

            So moving forward this school year, please know that you are an important member of the Access Team. Due to society's stigma, students often feel very vulnerable when approaching professors about their disabilities. On one hand they are anxious about disclosing a disability, and on the other hand students know how impossible it is to keep up without the accommodations they need. In order to do their very best, students undergo this risk. Your empathy and understanding helps remove some of these learning barriers. Thank you for being part of the process. Helen Keller once said, “Alone we can do so little; together we can do so much.” ​ -Written by Shelby Sawyer, Access Center Intern

 

Spring Fever

During this time of year, we often speak of “spring fever” striking on college campuses. As we approach the final weeks of the semester at NSCC, we thought we’d share some thoughts on how it can end on a strong note.  The purpose of today’s blog is to focus on how we can encourage the students who are doing well, as well as how we can show concern for the students who are struggling.

First, some students may need to just keep up the good work! We can encourage students who are doing well to let them know what their strengths are. Many of our students have overcome great obstacles to be where they are, and they would benefit from an encouraging word. 

Second, you may have a student who is struggling, but there is still the potential to earn credit for the course. One option is an Access Team Meeting where Access Center staff, students, and instructors come together to talk about study and testing strategies.  The semester often ends with crucial final exams, papers, and projects, and an Access Team Meeting could be an effective tool.  If you would like to schedule an Access Team Meeting, please contact Gina Jones or Andrew Mason at 3741 or 3721.

Although an Access Team Meeting is not counseling, we incorporate several ideas from “solution-focused counseling.” In solution-focused counseling, the client is encouraged to focus on solutions instead of dwelling on problems.

According to one author, a solution-focused counseling session is like a tennis game, with the counselor and the client being on one side and the problem being on the other side. In Access Team Meetings, we’re all certainly on the same side; we all want the student to learn as much as possible.

For other students, a medical withdrawal may be appropriate. Even if the reason for excessive absences is health-related, the student may need time to recover before he or she can concentrate on higher education.  If you have a student in this situation, have them contact Carol Martin-Osorio.

Every student, regardless of the grade he or she receives, has learned important life lessons. As Michael Sandler says in College Confidence with ADD, “while good grades are great, I want to help students discover their inner talents, joy, and passion, so they may…achieve their dreams while living life to the fullest.”

The Joy of Learning

“I’d like to add some beauty to life,” said Anne dreamily. “for people to have some little joy or happy thought that would never have existed if I hadn’t been born.”

As the literary character Anne of Green Gables began her teaching career, she found herself asking the same questions that we might ask. “What is the value of education?”  “How can I be most effective?”

As students learn things such as algebra, writing, biology, or technology, they are also learning life lessons that may be “some little joy or happy thought” that enhances their lives.

     Students learn the value of discipline.

Organization, focus, and work ethic are skills that many students struggle with in college.  Just as professional athletes develop rigorous routines to keep their bodies healthy, students can learn to discipline their minds by learning study skills. The college years are crucial for developing discipline as students learn to overcome obstacles and be persistent.

 

Students learn to appreciate diversity.

Our students have the advantage of studying at a very diverse campus. We often see things from the lens of our own experiences, but by interacting with classmates of all different backgrounds, our students can learn an appreciation of different cultures and ideas.

 

Students learn to think critically.

NSCC values critical thinking and analyzing ideas. Students learn how to determine the validity of an argument, how to communicate well, and how to solve problems. These critical thinking skills are crucial as our students face life’s challenges.

 

Students learn what they have to contribute to the world.

Each of our students has a unique opportunity to bring hope and joy to others’ lives---in their families, in their workplaces, and in their communities. By helping our students realize their talents, we can provide encouragement as students find their places.

 

As Eleanor Roosevelt said “it is better to light a candle than to curse the darkness.” NSCC can be that light in the lives of our students as we give them “some little joy or happy thought that would have never existed if [we] hadn’t been born.”